


The Idiot's Guide to Washing a Direwolf

by kitkatkaylie



Series: Jonmund Week 2020 [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Jonmund Week 2020, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatkaylie/pseuds/kitkatkaylie
Summary: 'The Idiot's Guide to washing a Direwolf.' - 5 easy steps to make your mucky wolf clean again, written by Jon Snow, with help from Tormund Giantsbane and (of course) Ghost.Written for Day 2 of Jonmund Week 2020: Domesticity
Relationships: Tormund Giantsbane/Jon Snow
Series: Jonmund Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1673965
Comments: 11
Kudos: 85





	The Idiot's Guide to Washing a Direwolf

**Step 1: Have a direwolf who is incapable of staying clean**

The problem, Jon reflected with a sigh, with having a white direwolf, was that any dirt showed up on his fur very easily.

More so when Jon’s husband was a shameless enabler of Ghost’s messy tendencies, often the pair of them would come back from a hunt covered in mud and gore.

Tormund, at least, was easy to clean. Jon simply had to point at the freshly prepared bucket of warm water and his husband would clean himself with nary a grumble, aware that if he did not clean himself then Jon would not let him near their bed.

He had been teased before by how much he valued cleanliness, but in truth any terrible stink reminded him of the horrors of Kings Landing, of sitting in a cell waiting to be killed, or of the scent of pain as the city fell. Tormund knew this, and so while he might grumble on occasion, he still made sure to remain as clean as he could.

Ghost on the other hand, did not seem to have got the message that he should stay clean and Jon could not hold back the sigh that fell from his lips at the sight of his currently multi-coloured wolf.

There was red around Ghost’s muzzle, his legs and stomach were brown with what Jon hoped was mud, but just as easily could have been shit, and his back was bright green with grass stains. He looked more like a child’s drawing than a fearsome predator, an image helped by his wagging tail and the pink tongue lolling out of his mouth in contentment.

As Jon looked at Ghost a realisation came to him, one that sent a tinge of horror down his spine as the thought filled his mind.

Ghost needed a bath.

**Step 2: Catch your wolf**

“If you wait in front of the door, I’ll herd him towards you so you can grab him.” Jon muttered to Tormund, hoping that Ghost either wouldn’t hear, or wouldn’t understand what he was saying.

It seemed, however that his wolf was far more intelligent than he had thought, for Ghost’s ears pricked up and he dashed out the door before they could even react. His tail was wagging gleefully at the thought of the chase, and he had managed to splatter mud everywhere as he did so.

Despite the fact they had not sent long together, Jon was half convinced Ghost had learnt from Rickon the best was to cause as much mess as possible in as short a time as possible, as that had always been Rickon’s skill as a toddler.

The two of them stumbled out of the house after Ghost; intent on catching him before he did some kind of damage to the rest of the village. Neither of them particularly wanted to be yelled at by one of the spearwives (or any other Free Folk woman for that matter) because Ghost had somehow caused chaos or spread dirt everywhere.

They were just in time to see the tip of Ghost’s tail dart between two buildings, and while Jon dashed after him, Tormund headed around them in the hopes of heading Ghost off.

They rushed around the village, with Ghost always just out of reach, much to the delight of children (and many of the adults as well); and if the laughter was anything to go on, they must have made a most humorous sight.

Eventually they managed to corner Ghost, near the plot where scraps were left to rot so as to fertilise the few crops they grew. He was quite happily wallowing in the muck and manure of the plot, and a bath was definitely a necessity rather than a preference.

The brown on Ghost’s legs was something that Jon could now say with certainty was shit, and he stank worse than before as vegetable scraps and clumps of manure graced his fur.

Jon and Tormund exchanged glances at the sight of him, and Jon stepped back with an innocent expression.

“You should carry him.” He said, “After all, you are always saying how strong you are and we don’t want him to get away again.”

Tormund grumbled, but reached to sling Ghost over his shoulders like he would a deer carcass.

“You know, Jon Snow, yer fucking lucky yer so cute.”

**Step 3: Wrestle your wolf into the tub of water**

Jon and Tormund had played a child’s hand game to decide who would be the one to fill the tub with water, and who would be the one to hold onto Ghost.

Jon had won, and he pressed a smug kiss to Tormund’s cheek before going to turn the tub the right way up, turning it from a table into a tub. He filled it up with buckets of water, not minding the hard work it took for at least he wasn’t attempting to wrestle Ghost still.

Eventually the tub was half filled with water, rugs and stools around it, and the bar of soap in reaching distance. All they had to do was get Ghost into the water.

A statement that was far easier said than done.

As though sensing his impeding date with the soap Ghost started to wriggle worse than before, until he had almost managed to slip from Tormund’s hands. He was caught at the last minute though, a task that likely would have been easier had he worn a collar, of the sort Sansa had used to fashion for Lady, and Jon found himself wondering if he should ask his sister how she used to make them, or even asking if she would make him one.

Even a pink ribbon collar had to be better than having to deal with a wriggly, smelly wolf by grabbing his fur.

They eventually managed to wrestle Ghost into the water, and took it in turns to shed their outer layers of clothing to save them from a soaking.

Jon grabbed the bar of soap and had just raised it to start lathering Ghost’s fur, when his wolf saw an opportunity and knocked it from his hands. In a flash the soap had disappeared down Ghost’s throat, and had he not seen it with his own eyes Jon would have hardly thought such a thing possible, especially with the innocent look Ghost was shooting his way.

Tormund started to guffaw as Jon scrabbled to find another bar before Ghost managed to escape. He grabbed the first one to come to hand, uncaring of the scent and began to scrub at the wolf.

They passed the soap carefully between them, rubbing at Ghost until he was bright white once more, if bedraggled looking.

As soon as they were done Ghost glared at them both and, with a look that could not be called anything but crafty, started to shake himself. It was mere moments before Jon and Tormund were just as soaked through as Ghost, and the both of them smelt of wet dog tinged with the lavender of the soap.

Jon really should have known that Ghost would get his revenge, he was of the North after all.

**Step 4: Admire the fluff**

Once Ghost had dried by the fire, something that took a good couple of hours; he had become a ball of fluff.

He looked like a wad of the down used to stuff the pillows in Winterfell, or one of the sweets that Robb had used to like, the ones which were fluffy and soft.

Jon could not stop himself from hugging his wolf tightly and burying his face in the fluff, he even enjoyed the way the fluff tickled his nose and half made him want to sneeze.

A chuckle drew his attention and he looked up to see Tormund gazing down at him fondly.

“You look comfortable, Little Crow.”

Jon grinned up at him, “I could quite happily stay here forever. Although I do not think Ghost will let me. He is as soft as he was when I first held him, as soft as the downy hair upon my sibling’s heads when I first greeted them.”

Tormund grinned back at him and reached out to touch the soft fur.

“Aye, he is soft. And for once he doesn’t smell of wet dog, although I do question the choice of lavender for a wolf.”

Jon inhaled deeply, “Well it was going to be rosemary but _someone_ ,” He glared at Ghost, who grinned at him unrepentantly, “Ate the bar so he was left with one of the ones Sansa gave us.”

Tormund sat next to him and Jon curled into his warmth while keeping his hold on Ghost. Sandwiched between his husband and his wolf, Jon reflected that he could quite happily fall asleep to dreams as sweet as the scent of lavender rising from Ghost’s fur.

**Step 5: Realise all your hard work was for nothing**

Jon groaned as Ghost re-entered their home, for already his paws were brown with mud, and there was speckled red around his jaw. It had been barely half a day since they had managed to wash him, and already their hard work was for naught.

No matter, he would just have to do all of it again when Ghost got too bad.


End file.
